Realized

So I have come to realize.. If I don't clear my mind, by writing, I start to go crazy. With all of these thoughts, regrets, & stress.. Sometimes, I feel that It is apparently meaningless to care so much. To wander through life, just making it. I have become this person, so scared to make a mistake, a wrong choice, have a regret. That I leave myself in Limbo, as so It seems. I remember this quote: By deciding not to decide, you have already made a decision... Sometimes, I offer the greatest advice, and I think..The things we want so bad, are not necessarily the best things for us at all. To overcome our problems with our self, and push ourselves to succeed at life period.. Rather than being scared, I need to paint my life with beautiful color.. I always wonder, and day dream about me having a different life. But the way I look at It is. I am exactly where I am supposed to be.. Sometimes, It seems like we keep hoping for these amazing things to happen, but the way they should happen is the way they might already be.. Pretty Hopeful?? I should hope so.. I keep looking at the bad in me, and when I see myself. Sometimes all I see are my flaws, weaknesses, and guess where I started to notice them from?? A guy, I love.. But really, does he love me? If all I hear are bad things, and I feel so ugly and so stressed out all the time.. Is that a healthy relationship?? Rhetorical Question. I know that answer already. So maybe one day, I will realize my strength.. Grab it and use it in my life.. I can't keep holding on to things, because I am so terrified of the results and the regrets.... Idk.. No conclusion here, and funny no resolving my thoughts in my head..The worst battle between my head and my heart.. Who do you think is winning??