The crow flys at midnight...??

Distinctively , all my life I have been told how to listen, pay attention, and the right words will come to me. You never want to speak unless you have all the facts, and knowledge as possible, so you do not say something that either you don't mean or will regret saying later..But how does that tie in to the real things you left unsaid, by that simple vow I have followed since a child..??

The common misconception about me, is that I will not speak up. WRONG, DEAD WRONG!! A few years ago, I may have said, you're a little right. But anyone who really knows me, knows if I am talked to wrong, or offended I will say something. Mistaking someones kindness, and big heart for weakness, is a surprise in waiting..:) Yes, If someone needed the last dollar I had, and they needed it more than me . Yes, I would hand it over and make due.. That's is just my spirit inside me, I am quick to give and have a hard time turning  people and animals away when I feel they are in need..

Everyone I know, knows me as their personal PSYCHOLOGIST..I am always asked for advice, and I take this as a HUGE compliment.. I am quick to give advice, but in all honesty I need to take my own.. Sometimes I feel like, How come I know exactly what to tell them, when I don't even know what to tell myself?? That thought right there puzzles me...

Well, I am off to bed. I haven't posted in a while, and It has been bothering me. XOXOXO, Heather

My little Dakota..

So I have this adorable all white siberian husky.. Well , my brother let her out to play today.. We have this pond, and I guess she found it... I was shocked when I found her like this...

Before:: ALL CLEAN AND PRETTY

After:: THE POND

I adore my Dakota...!! :) She is soo cute.. Plus I have better news, my other Dog Anastasia had puppies!!!

....Today is a complicated day, but each and every day I know, I will stop hurting soon..

xoxoooxox~ Adieu Love Adieu

Upon waking up..

I remember in my tossing and turning, and falling back to sleep. Sometimes, when my mind is at ease. I do come up with ideas, some may not make sense, but some do when I remember them.. You know when you wake up, and you have this thought, you fall back asleep, and when you awake again. Its there.. Mine was the view of others on every single subject. Makes It really amazing to think about. Like You can just think about a subject.Thinking about how each and every person,will have something different to say about it.. Whether it be sports, art,etc, you can just go down the line and hear, like, love, hate, despise.. Sometimes, the people we just think will not like certain things completely surprise you in the end... Like me for instance, because I am very girly. People can not even believe I like Motocross, and want to take up dirt biking, or that I love fishing, and camping.. Now the courage to try Motocross, is a completely different story. I remember my first time, and I fell on my face.. I was like, yeah, OUCH.. I will try that again later. lol.. Which honestly, I have yet to attempt again.. Motocross, gives a whole new meaning to the words. When you fall off a bike, get back on and try again. That hurts... But on a completely different note.. Which has nothing to do with Motocross at all. lol.  Victoria Secret is having this fabulous sale on Swim Suits.. I bought both my sister and I a bikini, for thirty bucks including shipping and handling.. They have that Sale, Beach Sexy, $2.99-$6.99. I know, so cute.
The One I wanted, but they didn't have my size in the top.Well, they had It. But It wouldn't ship out till 7/3. Yes and this one was not included in the sale items...

Another fave of mine!! Not On Sale Either.

Obviously, you can see the color I really like and am wanting... However...

I ended up getting a pink one like this, I have never had a pink bikini.. So this is a first, Yes I agree , Time to switch it up..

 HA. Sorry, for the switching it up so randomly. I am known for being able to talk about 15 completely different things out of nowhere.. Which I get the reaction, where did that come from?? Hey , when I have things on my mind, they just need to be let out or questions need to be answered. That is exactly what makes me, me.. :) Bye luvs

 I love these pics off of Photobucket.!!

Realized

So I have come to realize.. If I don't clear my mind, by writing, I start to go crazy. With all of these thoughts, regrets, & stress.. Sometimes, I feel that It is apparently meaningless to care so much. To wander through life, just making it. I have become this person, so scared to make a mistake, a wrong choice, have a regret. That I leave myself in Limbo, as so It seems. I remember this quote: By deciding not to decide, you have already made a decision... Sometimes, I offer the greatest advice, and I think..The things we want so bad, are not necessarily the best things for us at all. To overcome our problems with our self, and push ourselves to succeed at life period.. Rather than being scared, I need to paint my life with beautiful color.. I always wonder, and day dream about me having a different life. But the way I look at It is. I am exactly where I am supposed to be.. Sometimes, It seems like we keep hoping for these amazing things to happen, but the way they should happen is the way they might already be.. Pretty Hopeful?? I should hope so.. I keep looking at the bad in me, and when I see myself. Sometimes all I see are my flaws, weaknesses, and guess where I started to notice them from?? A guy, I love.. But really, does he love me? If all I hear are bad things, and I feel so ugly and so stressed out all the time.. Is that a healthy relationship?? Rhetorical Question. I know that answer already. So maybe one day, I will realize my strength.. Grab it and use it in my life.. I can't keep holding on to things, because I am so terrified of the results and the regrets.... Idk.. No conclusion here, and funny no resolving my thoughts in my head..The worst battle between my head and my heart.. Who do you think is winning??

Starting Today

I'm not gonna care about my happiness, I just want every one else to be happy. I am not gonna care about being alone, I just don't want anyone else to be lonely.. As long as every one else has everything they need, I will do without.. I have come to realize he is never gonna love me like that, so I need to stop hoping, praying. He will always put any girl in front of me, and my life with him forever, will always be worrying about other girls., and fighting, crying over other girls. So I will do without, and just live my life.. Is it easy.? No , Its the hardest thing I have ever had to do. But that is not a life to live, nor do  I wish it upon any one else.. I might as well, let him live with what he chose.In other words, he made his bed, so he can lie in it. He wanted other girls, now he has them. I hope he is happy..I'm not.

My fave song and video

Warms my heart and breaks it at the same time. I want this. Someone who never gives up on me, and fights so hard to have me back.. Love if true love, never gives up for good.. So I wait..
The Man I want to be by Chris Young...

Write a Letter to Cancer

I Hate Cancer with a passion. Every letter written, they will donate $10 to the American Cancer Society, so one day Cancer will be Defeated!!
I wrote a letter, and I believe you should. It takes a few minutes, and you never know who Cancer can take next. It is so sad, to see so many lives lost, and you never know who could be next.!!
http://www.varianrapidarc.com/dear_cancer

I'm Calling you to join the Cause!!

Adieu Loves Adieu..

Hope...

Okay, So I thought I was done blogging for the night.. But I was wrong.. I can't forget about how my favorite actress was done wrong.. The crazy part is, I keep thinking how what she is going through right now is similar to the part she played in a movie.. My fave Movie, "Hope Floats". If you don't know It let me break it down for you.
She was married with a daughter, and her husband had an affair and she moved out.. Then they got divorced..
Crazy thing is the part at the beginning of the movie , is when she gets told on national tv that he was having an affair with her best friend.. Ironic.. In the movie, she can't get over how he humiliated her on tv, for the whole world to see it..

 She is so angry, and broken inside, she returns to her mothers house.. She can't seem to forget and she is still so hurt.. She loved him so much, and would have done anything to stay..

Her mom being a  mom, kept pushing her to move on.. See there is always something, and she was just as beautiful as the day she left.. She thought it was her fault, and that she had lost that spark. Reluctant, she didn't want to talk to this guy, who was in love with her since she was younger.. Her first kiss and everything was her husband..

Slowly, and after her mom passes.. Her husband comes back to say he wants a divorce and she finally realizes.. He is not coming back for her, and he wasn't what she wanted anyways..

Childhood is what you spend the rest of your life trying to overcome. That's what momma always says. She says that beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it's the middle that counts the most. Try to remember that when you find yourself at a new beginning. Just give hope a chance to float up. And it will...

Although when you are in pain, and someone does you wrong. You feel like you are under water, and sometimes you can't breathe .. But you also see that glimpse of hope, that solace under water. That makes you push yourself to the top..

Every struggle, every painful situation, brings out something inside you.. A new understanding, and new wishes, and hopes, and dreams...

I thought it was crazy though, the part she played in a gorgeous movie.. Is soo similar to her reality, and her actions are quite similar.. :)

Menger Hotel In SA

MMkay.. So I have been pretty interested in the Menger for a long time..Located here in San Antonio, and not far from where I live and lay my head. lol.. I have been there multiple times, and I love going there.. The history alone, is so amazing.. When you walk in the door, you think about  the hotels history.. Thinking oh wow, Babe Ruth could have been standing in this very spot, using this phone booth.. Which when you walk in the door, you feel like you take a walk back in time, and everything has been so well kept..  Walking around, you just can't help but be happy. Even though they say It is haunted, the beauty of the hotel has you definitely mesmerized..

The Bar, is amazing looking, you just want to stay there for a while and have a few.. Teddy Roosevelt, used to sit at the bar and as cowboys would walk in, he would offer them a drink..

 In the lobby, they say the piano plays by itself.. I didn't till I walked by and saw the pedals moving on there own.. I am still sure there has to be some technological reason for it.. lol.. Although, I'm told nope not true.. The court yard is so pretty and, you feel like your in a secret garden. It's nice to think about, you enjoying the same area Greats enjoyed as well.. Amazing feeling..

When asked, the staff gives you the documentation of things that have happened there.. But , they say the ghosts are friendly, and don't seem to mind sharing with the living.. But still, I have stayed there once.. But I stayed in the newer part of the hotel, so nothing really happened to me.. But yet, I am the one who always finds reasoning for something weird happening.. lol.. My sister kept on having me go to the potty with her.. They say most of the activity happens in the older part, which is where the Greats would stay..